HilariousHeadlines TALK

photo taken from nationalgeographic.com

I have some odd news for you all today! Check out this headline: “Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat“. America, one of the most obese countries in the world. I’m glad to see that the guy was creative though. I don’t want to see it though.

Now, around this time you are eating dinner right? Well, check out this headline: “Making a meal out of mice in Malawi“. Mmmmm. I can hear dinner. Sometimes, I’m just so grateful to be born and raised in New York.

photo taken from villagevoice.com

Odd news doesn’t stop coming. Check out this headline: “Shotgun drawn after brothers argue about sandwich“. How on earth could a sandwich cause someone to draw a shotgun, especially if they are related? Well, I guess it really depends on the sandwich.

It must suck to be caught with anything pertaining to porn if you are a guy. This guy tried to defend himself. Check out his cover: “Fla. man blames cat paws for child porn downloads“. Child porn? Anyone who likes that kind of stuff has issues. Unbelievable.

This mouse is a gangster. You want to know why? Check out the headline: “Mouse builds nest egg in ATM with $20 bills“. That mouse is materialistic. It kind of reminds me of the movie Dumb & Dumber where Jim Carrey is blowing his nose with money and using bills as tissues. Funny part in the movie.

That’s all for todays report. Check back to see tomorrow’s!

Have some very odd news for you today. Check out this headline: “Woman, 86, faces shoplifting charge in 61st arrest“. Doesn’t there come a point in your life when you want to live a life of solitude? What happened lady? Very odd news.

I’m very happy that this rule isn’t in effect in New York: “Burger King: No shoes rule taken too far with baby“. It’s a baby! What is wrong with these people? I understand if it was some middle-aged guy walking in, but a baby? How can you possibly confront someone like that?

This is some scary news. When you are seeking medical treatment, you want the very best. Imagine being taken care of by a woman who is not a registered nurse? Check out this headline: “‘Nurse of the Year’ charged with not being a nurse“. This reminds me of the movie Catch Me When You Can. He was all over the place!

That’s all for today. Check back to see tomorrow’s report!

I’ve got some odd news for all of you today. Check out this headline: “Fans urged to drink whisky to ward off swine flu“. Are they kidding me? Fans are told to drink Welsh whiskey to ward it off? Hopefully this doesn’t make the papers in New York. Unbelievable.

I want to say one thing about this next headline: some people just never learn. I can’t believe people nowadays. Anyway, check out the headline: “Man who served time charged with robbing same bank“. Who goes back to robbing the same bank they went to jail for? What was this guy thinking? The recession, bringing out the worst of everyone.

Finally, check out this headline: “Man pulls snake from car engine with ‘chopsticks’“. I can picture it in my head and it is quite humorous I might say. Shouldn’t laugh too much, because I’m sure in most countries it is part of the diet. Thinking about it just makes me want to guard my pantry.

That’s all for today. Check back to see tomorrow’s report!

Have some odd news for you today. Check this headline out for starters: “‘Smoking-ban murder’“. Are they kidding me? Who killed someone for trying to obey the law for smoking indoors? That is completely disgusting, but odd all by itself. Unbelievable. It’s not really that funny, but I figured you guys wanted to see that article.

Now, growing up, I’ve always wanted to take as many vacations with my family as much as I can. After all, their family. This headline is very odd: “Wild! Ohio family visits 52 zoos in 52 weeks“. What kind of family has the time and money to do that? Wow.

This one is quite surprising to me: “Phone lost 4 days at sea found, recharged, returned“. Give me the name of that phone company! Me, if I get a drop of water on my phone, it will just break. Then, you call up the phone company and they act as if you put it through a flash flood.

That’s all for today’s news. Check back to see tomorrow’s

Monday already? Man, the weekend goes by so fast, and the week goes by very slow. That’s what happens when we work our asses off.

I’m glad I stopped playing sports back in elementary school. Them coaches were crazy. They acted like their life depended on us winning games, meanwhile I didn’t even know how to spell my name. Check this headline out: “Underweight team told to eat at least 15 eggs a day“. If I were them, I’d be like f*ck this sh*t, I quit. Unbelievable.

Speaking of crazy, check out this headline: “‘Caveman’ fugitive caught after 16 years“. Wow, sixteen years? Was hiding really worth it? Who was trying to capture this guy for sixteen years? That must’ve sucked.

I really want this to happen in New York: “Vt. taxi service allows patrons to decide fares“. Imagine trying to negotiate with taxi drivers in Manhattan? Yea, I’ll give you five bucks to take me to Staten Island. I am hoping for that.

That’s all for today’s report. Check back to see tomorrow’s!

I have some odd news stories for you today. Check this one out: “Wal-Mart worker bitten by accused shoplifter“. Are you kidding me? How low is society going to go. Biting? I thought that’s what dogs do. She bit the guy, this 44 year-old woman, because of items in her bag valued at $32. Ridiculous, but hilarious at the same time.

This headline should open up a lot of heads for those smokers out there: “Mich. woman’s begging to get smokes ends in arrest“. The economy is getting so bad that instead of seeing beggars for money to support their alcohol and illegal-substance abuse, we are seeing beggars for money for cigarettes. Unbelievable.

This is what happens when you try to help someone out: “Seattle bank teller chases robber, loses job“. Are you kidding me? I would be honored to have that guy work for me, if I had a job to offer. Wow, I guess management these days just don’t want people to try, if that makes any sense.